When we think about pet memorials, we often imagine them as something we begin considering after saying goodbye.
Perhaps it’s when our companion’s ashes are returned home, or when we finally find ourselves ready to look through all those photographs we have taken over the years.
But through our conversations with families at Oat & Paw, we’ve come to realise that the decision to commission a pet memorial doesn’t always happen at the same stage or time frame.
Some families approach us shortly after losing their companions. Others may wait months, or even years, before deciding they would like something more personal to remember them by.
And perhaps surprisingly, we’ve also spoken with families who choose to commission a memorial while their pets are still very much a part of their everyday lives.
So, is there a right time to commission a pet memorial?
We don’t believe there is.
A memorial can be commissioned before a pet passes away, shortly after their loss, or many years later. What matters isn’t how much time has passed, but whether creating something to remember your companion feels meaningful to you.
There are, however, a few things worth considering at each stage, and we hope sharing some of our experiences may help you find an approach that feels right.
Commissioning a memorial while your pet is still with you
This may not be the first thing that comes to mind when you think about commissioning a memorial.
After all, why would we want to think about remembering someone when they’re still right beside us?
But a memorial doesn’t always need to begin with a goodbye.
We’ve had families approach us while their pets are still alive, sometimes because their companions are getting older, and sometimes simply because they want to celebrate the years they’ve spent together.
For some, preparing a memorial in advance offers a little comfort when thinking about an uncertain future.
For others, it’s simply another way of celebrating a companion they love.
And there are some practical advantages too.
You may have the opportunity to take new photographs, capture a particular expression, or record the little details that might otherwise be difficult to see in older pictures.
Perhaps your dog has that unmistakable look whenever they hear that treat bag.
Or maybe your cat has a very specific way of curling up on the sofa that you’ve always found amusing.
These are the little things that we often hope to preserve in our work.
If your pet is still with you, you can take your time collecting photographs and deciding how you’d like them remembered.
But this is not to say that commissioning a memorial in advance is something you ought to do.
There’s no need to prepare for a goodbye before you’re ready, and certainly no reason to let those thoughts take away from the time you still have together.
Sometimes, the most meaningful thing we can do is simply enjoy another ordinary afternoon with them.
Shortly after losing a pet
For many families, the idea of a memorial first comes to mind shortly after their companion has passed away.
There may be cremation arrangements to consider, an empty space in the house that still feels unfamiliar, and the difficult task of adjusting to an everyday routine without them.
During this period, choosing a memorial can bring a sense of comfort.
Perhaps having somewhere to keep their ashes feels important, or you would simply like something familiar to look at when you come home.
But we also recognise that making decisions during this time can feel particularly difficult.
You might be drawn towards creating a memorial, only to find yourself struggling to look through photographs or decide which design best represents your companion.
That’s perfectly understandable.
You don’t need to make every decision about your pet’s memorial immediately after their passing.
If your pet has been cremated, their ashes can usually remain in their original sealed container while you consider your options.
There’s no need to rush into choosing a permanent urn simply because their ashes have returned home.
We’ve explored more about what to expect during this process in our guide on what happens after pet cremation.
And if you do feel ready to commission something, it doesn’t need to be an elaborate design.
Sometimes a simple wooden urn, a small keepsake, or a familiar little figurine is enough.
The important thing is that it feels right to you.
What if it’s been months or even years?
This is something we think deserves more attention.
We sometimes hear from families who have been keeping their companions’ ashes in the original containers for quite some time.
Others may already have a memorial at home, but over the years have come to feel that it doesn’t quite capture the personality of the pet they remember.
Perhaps the original urn was chosen quickly, when everything still felt overwhelming.
Or perhaps, with the passage of time, they’ve begun to realise what they would really like to remember.
We’ve received commissions from families looking to replace existing urns with something that feels warmer and more personal.
And we think there’s something particularly meaningful about that.
When we first lose a companion, our memories can be overshadowed by the sadness of their absence.
But as time passes, we may find ourselves remembering other things more readily.
The ridiculous expressions they used to make.
Their favourite sleeping positions.
The little habits that used to drive us mad, but that we would now give anything to see again.
Perhaps it’s only after several years that we begin to know exactly how we’d like to remember them.
It’s never too late to commission a pet memorial.
A memorial created five years after a pet’s passing is no less meaningful than one created five days afterwards.
And if you’ve kept their ashes in a temporary urn, there’s usually nothing preventing you from transferring them to another suitable container later, provided the original can be opened safely.
The relationship you shared doesn’t become any less important simply because time has passed.
What if looking through photographs still feels difficult?
One of the most personal parts of commissioning a custom pet memorial is choosing the photographs.
And this can be difficult, particularly when the loss is still recent.
You might open your photo library expecting to spend a few minutes selecting images, only to find yourself going through years of memories.
A familiar expression suddenly reminds you of an ordinary afternoon together.
Or perhaps you come across a photograph you had completely forgotten about.
It’s understandable if the process becomes emotional, or if you find that you’re not ready to continue.
At Oat & Paw, we use reference photographs to understand your companion’s appearance, proportions, markings and personality.
But we don’t expect you to find one perfect photograph.
In fact, some of the most useful images are often the everyday snapshots.
A slightly blurry photograph of your dog running towards you.
Your rabbit tucked into their favourite blanket.
Or your cat occupying the one chair they knew they weren’t supposed to be sitting on.
These moments tell us a great deal about who they were.
If you’re finding it difficult to choose, you might prefer to start with just a few photographs and return to the others later.
You could also ask a family member or friend to help you gather them.
Our guide on the photographs that help us most when remembering your pet explains what we look for and why professional photographs are not necessary.
And if you’re not ready to revisit those memories just yet, there’s no need to force yourself.
They’ll still be there when you are.
A few practical things to consider before commissioning
Although there isn’t a right emotional timeline for creating a memorial, there are a few practical considerations that may help you decide when to begin.
The time needed to create a personalised piece
Unlike a ready-made urn or keepsake, a custom memorial takes time to create.
For our hand-carved figurines, we begin by reviewing your photographs, discussing any details that may need clarification, and carefully shaping and painting the piece by hand.
Depending on the complexity of the design, our customised figurines generally take around two to three weeks before they’re ready for their first review.
Additional revisions and international shipping will require more time.
So if you’re hoping to have a memorial ready for a particular date, such as an anniversary, it’s worth making enquiries in advance.
But if there isn’t a particular date in mind, we’d encourage you to take the time you need.
Whether you want an urn or a keepsake
Not every memorial needs to contain ashes.
Some families prefer a traditional memorial urn, while others simply want a small figurine or keepsake that reminds them of their companion.
You may choose to keep their ashes elsewhere, or perhaps you never had their ashes returned in the first place.
Neither of these prevents you from commissioning something meaningful.
If you’re choosing an urn, make sure that its internal capacity will accommodate the ashes you intend to keep.
If you’re commissioning a standalone figurine, you can focus entirely on the appearance and character you’d like it to capture.
The memories you’d like to preserve
This is perhaps the most meaningful part of the process.
Rather than beginning with the question of which product to choose, we would encourage you to think about what you remember most vividly about your companion.
Was it the way they greeted you at the door?
Their favourite toy?
The expression they made when they knew they’d done something naughty?
Or perhaps it was something much quieter, like the way they would settle beside you at the end of each day.
These are the details that help us understand what makes a memorial personal.
And they’re often far more meaningful than choosing the most elaborate design available.
A final thought — remembering them in your own time
One thing we’ve come to appreciate through our work is that the relationship we share with our pets doesn’t fit neatly into a particular period of our lives.
For many years, they’re simply there.
Part of our routines, our homes and the little moments that make up an ordinary day.
And when they’re no longer beside us, those familiar moments are often what we remember most.
The sound of paws coming down the hallway.
The familiar weight of a cat settling onto your lap.
The way your rabbit would run towards you whenever they thought there might be something to eat.
When we create a memorial, we’re not trying to replace those memories.
We’re simply hoping to give them a familiar form. Something that reminds us of the years we were lucky enough to share together.
And we don’t believe those memories become more or less meaningful depending on when you choose to commemorate them.
Perhaps you’re thinking about a memorial while your companion is still enjoying life beside you.
Perhaps you’ve only just said goodbye.
Or perhaps it’s been many years, and you’ve finally found yourself wanting something that feels a little more like them.
Whatever stage you’re at, there’s no need to compare your journey with anyone else’s.
The right time to commission a pet memorial is whenever creating one feels meaningful to you.
And if that time never comes, that is perfectly fine too.
Because ultimately, our companions are remembered through much more than the objects we keep.
They’re remembered in the stories we tell, the photographs we revisit, and those little moments that still make us smile.
With love,
Oat & Paw Studio